The “Yes, and…” concept is a powerful tool used in the world of Improvisational Theater, and it has applications far beyond the stage. In Improv, each actor is expected to take the cue from other actors as true and build on it rather than shutting it down or trying to control the situation. The goal is to keep the action and dialogue going. Sounds great for the stage, but real life can be very different, and our brains are designed to keep us safe.
Think about it, primitive people sought shelter from the elements and predators, possibly in a cave. You have one primitive person who will risk leaving the cave to get food from animals, plants, nuts, berries, etc. You have another primitive person who is also in the cave but won’t risk leaving the cave to get food and other needs met because this cave dweller wants to avoid the risk of being eaten by a predator. Although the world has changed, few of us live in caves. To the brain, the concept of risk is perceived the same, and we often find ourselves overthinking risks and holding ourselves back in indecision. That is where coaching can help.
“For some people, their fear to lose is greater than their desire to succeed, so they end up doing nothing, and their dreams become impossible.” – Rodolfo Costa
This quote by Rodolfo Costa highlights the fact that for some individuals, their fear of losing or failing is greater than their desire to succeed. This fear can prevent them from taking action toward their goals and, ultimately, make their dreams impossible to achieve. By using the “Yes, and…” technique and remaining curious, I have seen clients overcome their fear and take the necessary steps towards success repeatedly.
Here is the short version. This technique involves me guiding the client to join together the individual’s goal and their fear using “and” instead of “but.” This helps them to accept their fear as a natural part of the process and move forward with confidence. Ultimately, this technique helps clients change their perspective, see their problems as temporary obstacles, and move beyond their primitive brain’s safety switch. I use this powerful reframing technique to help clients shift their perception of fear from a roadblock to something they can accept and move beyond.
I simply ask the client to state (1) their goal and (2) their biggest fear. Then we join both statements, first with the word ‘but’ and then with the word ‘and.’ You then ask your client to reflect on how each version feels.
For example, “I want to start applying for more senior roles, but I’m afraid of rejection” becomes, “I want to start for more senior roles, and I’m afraid of rejection.”
In a world where uncertainty and change are the only constants, the ability to adapt and respond quickly is more important than ever. We are all figuring it out as we go along, whether navigating a new career path, starting a business, or simply trying to make sense of the world around us. The “Yes, and…” concept can help us to approach these challenges with a sense of openness and curiosity rather than fear and resistance. By saying “Yes, and…” to the world around us, we can expand our possibilities, build stronger relationships, and achieve greater success in all areas of our lives.
Taking the next leap is a challenging feat. I hope you found something to help you shift your perspective about reaching your goals, and if you need help with something that seems to be stopping you, I am here to hear you and guide you further.